WOO HOO! The Ramon Annual Gingerbread Extravaganza is Around the Corner!

Yeah I'm excited. I love the annual gingerbread extravaganza Jen hosts each year. I think this time around I am going to make an igloo gingerbread house. That should be interesting! Today we are heading to the store to buy all the supplies. Check out last year's party.

I'm Depressed

I apologize to my readers for the lack of content on my blog. I know I'm boring as hell lately but
I'm not doing so great emotionally and am seriously thinking about going on anti-depressants. I have no motivation to pursue any of my creative outlets, including this blog, and more often than not, I'm sitting around doing absolutely nothing. It sucks. I'm supposed to call a psych nurse on Monday to get a consult appointment.

To my real life friends, please forgive me for being a hermit. I know I never call anyone and when I do call to make plans I bale out at the last minute. Depression isn't a new thing to me for those of you who barely know me. It's something I'll probably battle for the rest of my life unfortunately. I've been very stubborn about seeking chemical help but am getting to the point now where I don't think I can beat this on my own without a boost. While I was hiking a lot and back packing I was able to control my depression naturally, but since I don't know when I'll be able to get back on the trails full force, I'm going to have to turn to medication which really sucks. So many of them have awful side effects but my therapist tells me there are new drugs out on the market now so there is hope I'll find a good one. Keeping my fingers crossed on that one.

I'm Getting Sucked In

For the last couple of years I haven't been much of a television watcher, but lately it seems to be sucking me in. I wrote a poem about it...

Daytime television bore
Don't come knockin on my door
Stay away I don't like your kind
You make my butt big
You take over my mind

If you think this is really silly
I have to say I agree
Sometimes I just go off willy nilly
But that's ok with me

And on that note...here is what I've been watching lately...

Curb Your Enthusiasm(actually a really hilarious show written by the same guy who wrote Seinfeld)

The Sarah Silverman Show(very crass but totally funny)

Weeds(About a drug dealing housewife who is learning the hard way how to become a big time drug lord...this show is really great with an awesome cast.)

Boston Legal(one of my absolute favorites)

House MD (Hugh Laurie rocks in this show)

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia( I love Danny Devito in this one)

Nip/Tuck(totally a guilty pleasure...this show is so over the top!)

The Bachelor(it's like a train wreck...I just can't look away...I actually think the whole premise of the show is utterly ridiculous)

That's a big list! Oh and I've been watching tons of documentaries...at least they are educational. I particularly like the science ones, the history ones, and the nature ones. LOL I guess that encompasses a lot!

Spoke with My Lawyer Regarding My Accident

He told me that since I didn't suffer significant injury it wouldn't be economical to sue the city given that the city has many immunities especially when it comes to construction areas, and would be very difficult to win against. So that is that.

Just a Shout Out

This is another blog I've recently stumbled across that I am enjoying. I particularly enjoyed the post discussing angry atheists because I share every one of her sentiments on the subject. Atheists have a valid reason to be angry.

Welcome New Posters

There have been a couple of new faces around here and I just wanted to extend a warm welcome. Thanks to everyone who take an interest in my blog or leave comments, and letting me get to know some of you out there in blog land.

Speaking of comments. If you frequent the blog but don't read the comments left under each post you are missing out on conversation and community. Happy day everyone.

Ugh, Get Out!

Ok, so tonight I'm driving home from Jen's and when I come to the intersection where I had my accident (I was being very careful this time to not turn left from the middle turn lane) and I'll be damned there were signs! And guess what they said? Left lane may only go left, middle lane can go left or straight, right lane only turns right. Can you believe that shit? They were brand new signs, and the streets were painted too.

I think I have a good case to argue here and think I will contact a lawyer. Had those signs been there I wouldn't have had that accident. And they WERE most definitely there before I had the accident....for months and months, no years, those signs have always been there just like that. I feel like that accident wasn't really my fault.

What say you?

I Had to Have it

Like my new pet?

Don't Laugh Too Hard...

I finally broke down and bought myself a pair of reading glasses. Damn my eyesight is getting awful in my older age. I used to have such great eyesight...I miss those days. Oh well, here is a pic for your full amusement. I don't want to hear any librarian jokes or anything like that, so I'm warnin ya now! lol

It's Always Something

I've put tons of money into my crappy car over the last two months or so, and today I just got it inspected. It was washed a few days ago and looking good. All that was wrong was fixed...new tires, etc...

On the way home today from my girlfriend's house, some guy in a big truck plowed right into me. He went straight when I thought he was in a left turn only lane and was supposed to turn left. The driver side of my car is messed up now. The mirror has been knocked off and and the door is now hard to open and close, not to mention all the body damage. I don't even know really at this point who was at fault. At the time of the accident he said it was his fault, but then he later came back and said he wasn't sure anymore, that it could have been my fault.

He and I both actually think it's the city's fault because there were no signs indicating which lanes are what. There were three lanes, and he was in the far left. I was in the middle lane, and then there was a right turn only lane in the far right. At the intersection we were at, I've always turned left from the middle lane because there used to be signs at that intersection indicating that was a legal turn. But now there are no signs! I didn't even notice there were no signs until he pointed it out and I went back to the scene and looked myself. I think maybe I'm at fault but don't know for sure.

Sheesh, the guy who hit me asked me out to dinner. Can you believe that? When I said I wasn't sure what to do at this point, he said "Let me take you out to dinner and we can talk about it". I quickly informed him I was married!

I really like this blog

Check this one out

I just learned about it a few days ago while reading over on Joe's blog and felt it was pretty top notch...just wanted to share. I think some of my readers will totally appreciate it.

My Mother Knows Me All too Well

She knows that when I grow silent and don't have much to say it can sometimes mean I'm in a bad place on an emotional level. I withdraw from people and everything when I'm not happy while I try to get a handle on what the problems are and work through them. It seems the problems this past year and a half have been numerous and there has been much struggle. It's been exhausting and sometimes I just need to be a hermit for a while.

I'm treading water at the present trying not to drown, while I wait out time to change the things only time can change. Of course I'm actively working inwardly too on what is within my power to change, doing battle on my own terms and wrestling with the things that dominate my mind, my heart, my world...but at the present time it is a lot to contend with and my batteries are in desperate need of a recharge.

I wanted to camp out last night so bad. The weather turned very fall like...misty, cool, quiet. The nostalgia of it bowled me over as I remembered some of the places I winter camped that had the same air of beautiful silence and a profound natural peace that one has to experience first hand to have a clue what I'm talking about. It didn't help matters that I cleaned out the trunk of my car yesterday finally taking out my back packing gear that I sometimes can't bear to look at because of the painful ache and longing it provokes...sometimes causing the tears to run hard. Our world and our time are so fragile...

Over the Hedge

This is absolutely a must see movie. It's so great! I can't believe I've waited so long to watch it. If you haven't seen this one, run out and get it asap! I LOVED it. :)

Yummy!

I have been on a Kiwi craze for the past couple of weeks. I eat about four of them a day...oh man they are so fantastic!

Catching Up

Obviously I've not been doing a great job of keeping up with my blogging so here is just a bunch of stuff...

First of all, I did manage to go hiking on Sunday as planned with Elliott, but we couldn't find a shuttle so didn't get to thru hike the greenbelt. I was a bit disappointed but felt the walk was good regardless. Elliott said he had never been on the end of the greenbelt that starts at Scottish Woods Trail, and wanted to see that part so that's where we started. We walked 6.5 miles that day and it was easy under a day pack. I wanted to go further but Elliott decided he was ready to call it quits. I could have hiked the whole trail that day but definitely would have been tired and foot sore by the end. For me that speaks of a great walk and a feeling of accomplishment.

I miss walking on trails that are more out of the way and hope to be doing so once I find an acceptable partner. Elliott would be a good partner if he could go consistently but one never knows with him. He's a guy in his early 20's and usually doesn't know what he is going to be doing from one minute to the next. Young, male, mostly single...you get the idea. But Elliott is a bud and we do enjoy breaking away together once in a while to have philosophical talks and catch up with each other. He is an interesting young man.

In other news...Russell's school stuff has been pretty extreme and a strain on us. What more can I say about that really, except it sucks and that's just the way it has to be until he graduates. December can't get here fast enough for the both of us.

Both of our cars are a big financial drain and need work all the time it seems. They are old and putting more money in them at this point doesn't seem to be the right thing, so we are going to get a new car at some point in the near future. The car payment is going to suck but we'll buy used and hopefully not have to deal with unpredictable expenses for a while. I'm thinking a three or four year old Honda Accord is what we'll end up with. They are supposedly cars with a good track record for dependability and mileage. We'll see. Our 1998 Toyota Camry has been a lemon all along and we bought that brand new. They were supposed to be good cars too...so who knows. I guess it's all a crap shoot to a degree. I think I'd love a vehicle that can go off road, but yeah heh, in my dreams...

Wow, there is so much more I could write about but notice that I'm short on time for blogging today. I have so many chores and responsibilities waiting for me! I'll continue this again another time soon. I'll be back later to post a few pics from my hike and of some other stuff.

Solo Trip?

It is looking like I might actually get a weekend to myself and am pondering a solo back pack trip to one of the primitive campsites along Lake Georgetown. I totally prefer having someone along so if there are any takers let me know. If I don't actually get the time I'm hoping for, I might just pull together a last minute car camping trip instead. It will be strange having free time and actually getting to sleep in my tent for a change...I will relish the thought of it for a while...

I'm Ok

The doc didn't find anything wrong with me of course. It was just a fluke he says, and that it happens sometimes to people. He put some name to it...vasovagal something or other... which is just a fancy way of saying I fainted lol. Well duh!

Did You See that Moon?

The moon last night was so gorgeous...at least from my vantage point in Austin. I wonder if anyone else besides me looked up into the night sky with a sense of wonder and general happiness at such a beautiful sight. It looked like a bright jewel in the sky. I love nature!

Out Cold

Today I passed out cold. I've never had that happen to me before and still don't have an explanation for it. I'm making an appointment to see the doctor tomorrow. The only thing I can think of that caused me to check out for a minute or two, was the muscle relaxer I took today. I have a prescription for them and have never had any type of issues taking them, but about 30 minutes after taking one today I got extremely dizzy and when I got up to get some water, I crashed to the floor.

I don't remember any of that part. I just remember coming to and my friend Jen was over me shouting my name. That was so bizarre! She said I was out completely for a good minute and was about to call 911 when I woke up. It took me a while to comprehend what had happened to me and I was shocked to find myself flat on my back sprawled out on the floor. I was still very dizzy when I came to and it took me a few minutes to get to my feet and over to the couch. I slept the rest of the day and feel much better now, save the bruising on my face and knees from falling.

That was scary for a while there though. I wonder what the doctor will have to say about it tomorrow. I probably should have gone to the ER but I'm very stubborn about that so no lectures will be necessary from anyone. I will make an appointment to be seen in the am so will update everyone later. For now though I think I'm okay.

My Grandmother

This was my grandmother when she was 17 years old(1930). It is rumored in our family that she learned how to play cards from one of Al Capone's "goons". She attended the Art Institute of Chicago and lived there during a time of much gangster upheaval.