Saturday, November 03, 2007

I'm Depressed

I apologize to my readers for the lack of content on my blog. I know I'm boring as hell lately but
I'm not doing so great emotionally and am seriously thinking about going on anti-depressants. I have no motivation to pursue any of my creative outlets, including this blog, and more often than not, I'm sitting around doing absolutely nothing. It sucks. I'm supposed to call a psych nurse on Monday to get a consult appointment.

To my real life friends, please forgive me for being a hermit. I know I never call anyone and when I do call to make plans I bale out at the last minute. Depression isn't a new thing to me for those of you who barely know me. It's something I'll probably battle for the rest of my life unfortunately. I've been very stubborn about seeking chemical help but am getting to the point now where I don't think I can beat this on my own without a boost. While I was hiking a lot and back packing I was able to control my depression naturally, but since I don't know when I'll be able to get back on the trails full force, I'm going to have to turn to medication which really sucks. So many of them have awful side effects but my therapist tells me there are new drugs out on the market now so there is hope I'll find a good one. Keeping my fingers crossed on that one.

14 comments:

Lynn Kinsey said...

I am so glad you posted! I check your blog every day!

It isn't easy dealing with depression. Some people just don't understand what it is like to live with something as debilitating as depression. Once I am done with my babies and nursing I am going to try and switch to a newer drug than Zoloft. I emailed you with some good articles;-)

Sarah said...

I'm sorry you've not been able to hike and camp as much recently. I hope you are able to find a good way to combat your depression. My mom has dealt with it all her life and it can be very hard. Take care.

Poodles said...

Do what is best for you. Best Wishes!

Ginny said...

Thanks all.

Joe said...

I've had to go to the drugs and once I got the right drug and dosage dialed in I'm much better. I'll admit I don't like the sexual side effects but that's the Hobson's Choice about it. I have an understanding wife and that helps a bit. That, and Viagra.
I've been on the drugs for 7 or 8 years and I'll say they've been a life saver for me. In understanding the symptoms, I see I've had depression for as long as I can ever remember.
Please consider the pharmacology route. And, its good to see you post again.

Sean the Blogonaut F.C.D. said...

Ginny,

If I hadn't seen this blog here I was going to email you.Just wanted to let you know that I enjoy everything that you write and peering through the window that you provide to your readers/friends.

Let me know if there is anything a person around the other side of the world can do for you.

Ginny said...

It is beyond nice knowing that I have such a great network of people in my life, including those of you who come to my blog and leave comments. You are such a supportive group and it means a lot to me that you people care. Thank you so much.

It can be difficult finding the right drug and is sometimes trial and error. My sister tells me that she tried one that made her angry and knew pretty quick she had to try something else. It's a bit scary knowing that I could take a few doses of something and have crazy affects like that. I'm hoping that I'll find the right stuff quick and don't go postal in the process.

trina corina said...

If you do decide to go the pharmacological route, just try to keep an open mind and give them a chance. I know people that meds have worked wonders for. But on the same note, you really have to listen to your body in these times. You are an intelligent woman who obviously knows her body and mind and the fact that you're considering every option just shows how committed you are to making yourself better! Love ya and you know I'm only an email or phone call away!

Lynn Kinsey said...

When I went "semi-postal" lol, I remember telling Tim just straight out that the drug was making me feel that way and not to worry, hopefully it would pass soon! He was very understanding and we laughed about it a lot when I wasn't having an outburst of frustrations. Don't let it scare you away from trying them. It is a process, but once you get through it, it will be worth it.

ara & spirit said...

This is tough and sad to read you today as the core of Life, to me, is one's well being, physically and mentally. I am no "pro" on the matter, but myself have been through it when Lance passed away almost 4 years ago now. Yes, did take the "chemical route", but, only for a few months... drugs are drugs are drugs! My handling of the situation I know is an extreme one, living on the road is just not for everyone. BUT... there is so much out there to "combat" naturally what you are going through... I don't know you well... have no clue about your Lifestyle... personally I would take the path of the "natural" Life enhancing aspects. If you have to sacrifice some to go hiking and camping... well, you are worth it and so is your Life. What would be the hold up toward a different Lifestyle that would indeed let you climb the stairs instead of loosing the steps?... Please e mail me if you would like to exchange more ideas...
I always finish my comments or e mail writing "be well"... this time I mean it more than ever...

BE WELL...

Ara & Spirit

Ginny said...

Hi Ara. I am going to send you an email sometime today. Thanks for writing. :)

Tattooed & Atheist (T&A) said...

I'm sorry to hear about your depression. I've been there myself and know how dibilitating it can be. I'm glad you are seeking some help. I've taken Paxil in the past and it seemed to help me a great deal. I've been off of the meds for a while now and seem to be doing alright. But I remember how dark things can seem.
Hang in there! :)

susanbrown said...

Ginny, best wishes to you with all of this. I know it's not easy -- I live with someone suffering from severe depression, but just know you have a lot of people rooting for you (even if we haven't seen each other for a while!)

Ginny said...

Hi Susan, thanks for the kind words. Good to hear from you. :)