Decided Against the Ebay Gig

I think I was temporarily insane to give it serious thought but I explore things. It is in my nature to do so. That might have been a much more plausible use of my time and energy when I was a stay at home mom. So yeah I need to sit this one out and focus elsewhere.

Speaking of which, I have accomplished more on one of my paintings and am digging the direction it is taking. New ideas keep coming and I'm excited to put them into practice. I should take a picture of it and post it along with all the others from the past few weeks. They are coming I promise.

Heard from my Dad

I haven't heard a word from my father in about eight years then a couple of days ago he emailed me and attached a couple of pictures. I'm struggling with what to do about it. There is a lot of back story of course as to why I haven't heard from him in eight years and why I am struggling with having contact. It is all far too complicated to go into now.

It's funny how I thought I had lain to rest many of the issues where he is concerned only for them to come rushing back in with his contacting me. This time it is different however. I see things from a different perspective. I don't feel anger at all towards him anymore. I feel sadness mostly and regret. There are many things I feel I need to say and I don't know how to say them or if they would even come to rest on ears that can truly hear.

One thing my father is good at is sweeping things under the carpet. He is good at evading and not keeping things real. He is good at denial. I wish we could come to some sort of place of healing and understanding before he dies, but I truly don't know if that is possible as long as he clings to these traits. I think deep down my father is miserable and has been his whole life. I think there is a lot of hard core emotional pain that is too difficult for him to face. I think I understand him better than he could possibly know.

My dad could have done amazing things with his life had mental illness not been in the way. He has a genius all his own when it comes to being an artist and being creative. If only he didn't have so many things going against him, including himself. I will think on these things a while...

Ebay Store

My friend Azzurra is going to introduce me to some people on Thursday who want me to sell a bunch of stuff on Ebay for them. One is a gal who used to own a video rental store and she has several hundred dvds to sell. Another is a guy who has a bunch of estate stuff he wants to be rid of.

I agreed to do this for the extra money(a percentage of everything that sells) and can only hope it isn't a nightmare to pull off. I've never done any serious Ebay auctioning before so this could be a challenge. I wonder where if anywhere this could lead...

I LOVE my town

I say town because even though Austin has a large population and is a very happening city, it still has a home town feel to it. I don't think I will ever tire of this place or the abundance of cool people who live here.

I don't have Lupus

I am very relieved. My blood work came back and showed that I have rheumatoid arthritis instead which isn't great, but I can manage it. And it is looking like I am suffering from adrenal fatigue which actually explains quite a bit.

I am determined to get this all figured out soon...

Went to the Dermatologist Today

Great news! He said my hair follicles are unharmed and I will grow my hair back. We still don't know the underlying cause but he thinks it is auto immune in nature. I'm still waiting on my blood work. In the meantime I got a shot in the hip...a steroid...which should help prevent further hair loss for a few weeks. Keeping my fingers crossed!

In other news, my sister is leaving town today and life will resume back to normal. It will be a little lonely with her and the kids gone, but Ben and I will adjust quickly. Pictures are coming soon.

I will Handle what ever Comes My Way with Style and Grace

I've been debating with myself as to whether or not I want to post this because I don't want to alarm anyone, but I decided to go ahead since this is ultimately my journal and having a timeline could be important later...

I'm losing my hair in abnormal quantities(already have two good sized bald spots...largest is two inches across) and the cause is unknown yet. It very well could be related to malabsorption of nutrients and vitamin deficits because of the food intolerances, but it could also be something pretty bad such as lupus or cancer and I am currently undergoing testing to rule those things out. My sister discovered the bald spots a few days ago and I don't know how long they have been there but I'm thinking not long. Fortunately my hair covers them up...for now anyway.

I got handed a diagnosis of fibromyalgia yesterday but it doesn't explain the hair loss. Unfortunately fibromyalgia (soft tissue arthritis) has no cure and is something I will have to manage the rest of my life. It isn't the greatest of news, but it isn't the worst either. I have been in pain for years now and am used to it. The best way to manage this disease is lots of exercise and stretching. Thankfully this means hiking and backpacking are here to stay. The doc says I don't have to give that up at all and he thinks it is a wonderful way for me to exercise and help manage the fibromyalgia.

Hopefully soon I will know more. In the meantime I am trying not to dwell on it too much. Stay tuned for updates and pictures I've taken over the last several days. We did some cooking and painting! :)

My Sister is Still Here

I've taken quite a few pictures and will share them as soon as I can free up disk space. I bought an external drive today so should be back in the swing of things soon. Currently I am doing much needed maintenance to my box and hope to have it all ready and running better by tomorrow.

The visit with Lynn and her children has been really nice. I will hate to see them all go.

My Uncle Gordon 1920-2010 (He died on my birthday)

Gordon William Smith, 89, an artist and avid collector who met an American Indian chief at age 5 and let his imagination lift him to a life as an architectural artist and as one of America's leading collectors of American Indian art, died Thursday, March 4, 2010, at home.
Memorial service: 1 p.m. Monday in the sanctuary of First United Methodist Church of Fort Worth. Dr. William Longsworth will officiate. Interment to follow in Greenwood Memorial Park. Visitation: 3 to 5 p.m. Sunday at Thompson's Harveson & Cole Funeral Home.
Pallbearers: Mr. John Boswell, Mr. John Burk, Mr. Robert Dupree, Mr. Brent Hyder, Mr. Dan Reese, Mr. William Smith, Mr. Andrew Solomon, Mr. Bronson Stocker, Mr. Wesley Stripling, Mr. Samuel More. Honorary pallbearers: Dr. Irvin Clayton, Mr. Van Cliburn, Mr. Carroll Collins, Mr. John Graves, Dr. Richard Hubbard, Mr. George Keating, Mr. Bud Kennedy, Mr. Scott McDonald, Mr. Douglas More, Mr. Thomas Palmer, Mr. Diego Rodriguez, Mr. John Stevenson, Mr. Philip Vogel, Mr. Ronald Watson.
Memorials: Fort Worth Museum of Science and History, 1600 Gendy St., Fort Worth, Texas 76107; the Houston Museum of Natural Science, 1 Hermann Circle Drive, Houston, Texas 77030; the Van Cliburn Foundation, 2525 Ridgmar Blvd., Suite 307, Fort Worth, Texas 76116; or First United Methodist Church of Fort Worth.
As a designer and creator of more than 800 works of art across 14 states, from stained-glass windows to a 50-foot-tall mosaic, Gordon Smith viewed his art in the same way he viewed the pieces of Indian art he collected as a lifelong avocation: as small glimpses of life's endless story, like a giant totem pole depicting life across generations and cultures.
Born in Fort Worth as the grandson of pioneers who moved to Parker County in the 1870s, he grew up hearing about Indians. In 1925, when the Smiths were vacationing in Glacier National Park, Mont., Blackfoot chief Two-Guns-White-Calf gave the boy a small, black rawhide rattle.
By age 20, he had made many friends among the Plains Indians and had been inducted into the Lakota Sioux, all while gathering a collection of more than 1,000 artifacts now in the Gordon W. Smith North American Indian Collection at the Houston Museum of Natural Science and also on display at the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History through a rotating collection-sharing arrangement.
As a captain of two U.S. Navy landing ships in World War II, he participated in 13 landings on Japanese-held islands, often under enemy fire.
After graduating from Southern Methodist University, he attained a master's degree in English literature at Columbia University and also studied with noted Italian sculptor Oronzio Maldarelli.
Home in Fort Worth, he worked as an advertising artist and founded Smiths, Inc., the publishing house which introduced novelist John Howard Griffin, later the author of "Black Like Me."
In 1962, Smith created a stained-glass window for the memorial chapel named for his father, W.D. Smith, at Harris Methodist Hospital. Out of this grew the architectural arts firm Smith Studios, founded with his brother J. Hulbert, which over the next 41 years created stained-glass windows and other works of art for churches and hospitals across the South and Southwest. His 50-foot-tall mosaic on an Alabama church includes 1.4 million pieces of Italian tile, and is one of the largest mosaics ever created in the U.S.
Smith Studios also worked on the restoration of the historic Texas & Pacific Railway Terminal in Fort Worth, now T&P Station, and for this work the Texas Society of Architects awarded Smith its Artisan's Award. Smith's work, including architectural art, painting and drawing, was featured in a 2004 retrospective exhibition at Texas Christian University.
He was a board member of the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History and First Methodist Church of Fort Worth, as well as many other community organizations, and a member of the Jewel Charity Ball.
His wife of 48 years and the love of his life, Beverley Taylor Smith, was a Fort Worth civic leader, host of the local TV Ann Alden Show, and chairman of the Cliburn Concerts division of the Van Cliburn International Piano Competition. She died in 1998, and after her death he funded the Beverley Taylor Smith Award for the Best Performance of a New Work, awarded at each Van Cliburn Competition.
The family thanks Diego Rodriguez and Brenda Hernandez for their many years of steadfast kindness to Gordon.
Survivors: Son, Gordon Dee Smith and wife, Susan, of Fort Worth; daughter, Beverley Blaine Smith of Fort Worth; grandson, William D. Smith II; and granddaughters, Blaine Keating Smith and Carolyn Blaine Smith Solomon.

Published in Star-Telegram on March 7, 2010

My Sister Lynn is in Town

My great uncle died a few days ago prompting some of my immediate family to drive to Fort Worth for the funeral. Unfortunately I had to work and was unable to make the service. I loved my great uncle. He was a very smart and talented man and his death impacts me in several ways. I forever grapple with death and the finality of it...so many people who were important to me gone never to return.

Anyway, I got a phone call from her today and she and her children are coming to Austin this evening. I am truly excited that I get to see her and the kids. The visit is long overdue. I only wish my brother could be here too. When the three of us get together it is always hilarity. We so rarely get opportunities to all be together at the same time. It is especially fun when my brother and I gang up on my sister and play little jokes on her. Ah good times... So Lee you will be missed dear brother o mine.

Oh I forsee some some major cooking going on in my kitchen over the next couple of days. I need to remember to take lots of pictures with my spiffy Ara camera. :)

Dusty in the Hood

I spent a little time with my good friend Dusty yesterday. He was fixing a lifter in a Camaro engine and I took the opportunity to snap some shots. Some of these turned out grainy but I knew they probably would. I took the shots from the driver's seat through a dirty windshield on a gray cloudy day.

Seeds Dusty gave me for my birthday. He thinks I should container garden. I don't think my balcony will get enough light but I can try it.

Dusty did this charcoal and I own it. The photograph doesn't do it justice but it is extremely well done don't you think?

Just a few Photos

A romantic gesture

The completed mosaic before grouting

One of my favorite snacks. Frozen blueberries and blackberries with heavy cream

The official I'm 44 head shot

I am Making it just Fine!

Ok, so today isn't so bad. I realized how silly it is to be so concerned about my age...as if there is a rule on what 44 looks like, or feels like, or how a 44 year old should act...

It's been coming more and more to mind that I am simply a late bloomer and I'm cool with that. :)

Oh God Nooooooooooooo

I'm turning 44 tomorrow and kicking and screaming the whole way. I can't be turning 44! How on earth did so much time go by? I don't look 44. I don't feel 44. There has to be a mistake...quick check of the birth certificate...yep 44. Well damn I guess it's true. Sigh.

Now where on earth did I put that deep wrinkle cream...

Yay Picture Time!

The squirrels

A lovely fellow artisan

Art in a bowl

When I finish this, it will be joining many others on a special wall somewhere in Austin

A good moment

Cats are cool

Pretty in Calico